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We are thrilled to invite you to come to the first in-person program for the Anatomy of Anatomy of Intimacy since February, 2020. Dr. Tammy Nelson, renowned couples and sex therapist will be returning to UCI on Saturday, October 30th, to offer a special training on the treatment of Infidelity.

 

After much agonizing over how to have a safe, in-person workshop given the unpredictability of Covid, we have concluded that having it outdoors and limiting attendance is the only viable option for now. Please see Venue and general Information on our Covid policies for more details.

 

Dr. Nelson will divide the workshop into 2 different, but related, topics on working with infidelity.

 

Morning program (9 am–noon): Therapy with the One Who Cheats

Many therapists dedicate much therapy time helping betrayed partners heal deep emotional wounds in the wake of an affair. Therapy is often lopsided in a victim–perpetrator model, dealing with the injury of the betrayal.

 

Less attention is typically paid to helping the partners who had the affair, one-night stand, or online infidelity, especially regarding why and how it happened. Dr. Nelson will give you a more nuanced understanding about the motivations for the infidelity and present practical interventions for helping the couple understand the underlying meaning of the cheating, what it means about the relationship, and whether it is a Wake–Up or Break–Up call for the marriage. She will also show you how to help the partner choose to end the affair or the marriage, and do it with integrity.

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Learning Objectives:

1. Describe 3 motivations for infidelity besides a bad marriage

2. Prepare clients to end an affair or a marriage with integrity

3. Assess for triangulations and avoid a “trauma triangle” in the treatment as an inadvertent reenactment of the affair

 

 

Afternoon program (1–4 pm): Erotic Recovery After Infidelity

Much therapy on infidelity focuses on trust and forgiveness, overlooking direct repair of the couple’s sexual relationship. Therapists countertransference reactions and discomfort can lead to avoidance on how to intervene in restoring the sexual connection, especially in the context of ongoing complex trauma and betrayal. Infidelity causes an erotic injury to the relationship and, if the partners stay together, the sexual connection must be dealt with head on. This workshop will deal with triggers and provide direct interventions for healing.

 

In this segment, Dr. Nelson will present a step-by-step erotic recovery process to help couples repair the erotic injury and navigate sexuality as a way to find a new relationship and reconnection, even during times of destabilization. A specific protocol of experiential exercises to use along with a dynamic dialogical process will be offered.

 

Dr. Nelson is offering AASECT credit in addition to the Anatomy of Intimacy APA/BBS credit. Be sure to look for the separate sign-in sheet she will provide on site. Credits toward Sex and Couples Therapist certification through the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute are also offered.

 

Learning Objectives:

1. Describe 3 phases for erotic recovery after infidelity

2. Define implicit and explicit monogamy agreements

3. Plan interventions to promote connection and comfort despite destabilization in the relationship

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REFUND POLICY: Given the uncertainty of COVID, we are allowing people to cancel at any time and receive a full refund or credit for the next workshop.

 

Tammy Nelson, PhD is a Board Certified Sexologist and AASECT Certified Sex and Couples Therapist TEDx speaker. She is the author of six best-selling books for couples, including Getting the Sex You Want, The New Monogamy, and When You’re the One Who Cheats. Her new book Open Monogamy will be released December 14 with Sounds True Publishing. She is the Director and Founder of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute and trains therapists throughout the world. Dr. Nelson is a frequent speaker at national conferences and is a featured expert in the NY Times, Rolling Stone Magazine, and London Times. She is the host of the podcast “Ask Dr Tammy about the Trouble with Sex.”

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